What they know about the world

Everbody must have heard some time about the people who share their
knowledge about countries and capitals in the world even when their
general knowledge is not as strong as others'. The jokes about some
people saying 'ah, France, thats the capitol of Paris!' or the
other one where they say that Amsterdam is that country in Europe
where people can smoke a joint in the coffeeshop....

I have experienced a few new ones, never heard about before. Maybe
never existed before. But first a few years back when I lived in
Manchester, England. I heard this one many times from many English
people. It is always Germany again who causes the trouble. Maybe Jason
Statham referts to the good old past when everything was ok, when the
future was still good. Maybe he referts to that in the movie Catch
saying 'before ze Germans are here'.
When the English asked me where I am from, and I replied with the
answer 'I am Dutch', half of the times they replied 'ah you are from
Dutchland'. No thank you very much indeed mister English. So that was
the past, before ze Germans where here. But now the future, when the
future is not so good anymore. Now, in the northern part of Africa
where the very hostile shop keepers try to verbally pull you into
their shop where they try to strengle you in a verbal judo position
like a python or a cobra snake would tie you, impossible to escape
from. Their first judo attack on you is a friendly hello are a
question-incognito asking you how you are. Not to find out how do you
do, but only to have a basis for a second judo attack on you. But this
is a very unfair verbal play of judo because it is the game of no
defence. There is no defence for this game but ignorance! Ignorance is
as effective as ignorrig Bob Sapp in the boxing ring while he is
facing you like a nose steaming bull analyzing and predicting your
next move, and attack you with a hard right or a straight one right at
your nose! How could you win that
game of boxing by ignoring your opponent???
Anyway, the shopkeepers second judo attack is always to ask you where
you from. But only when they don't know where you are from because
when they know they will talk the few words they know in your
language. They hate to be in that position not knowing where you arw
from. And you can only win your match of verbal judo if they don't
know. If they become desperate they start to talk random languages but
simple sentences like 'gutentag wie gehtst' or 'goedendag'
'allahmachtig' and 'bonjour, sava?' etc. It's like opening the door
with a bucnh of keys not knowing which key to use. If they cannot
analyze your face where you are from, they hope to see from your
clothes etc. If the country is written on your shirt for example.

Now, I do not have any clothes with Holland or Netherlands or any
other cou try written on there. At least I thought so. Before ze
Germans are here, I did not have them. But now I actually do have
clothes with country names. So to get back to what I started writing
about, no I am not from Dutchland,  some of my clothes actually do
have the name on there. That is what théy think at least.
Lets check the creativity from the shopkeepers in a game of verbal
judo when i am wearing my clothes:

Frederik speaks Datch and comes from Datchland.

Frederik speaks Spanich and comes from Spain.

So, another tip to win the game of verbal judo with the touts and shop
keepers, try to not look you are from a particular country. But that's
very difficult because it's your nature.
But the tip is to not wear any clothes with words. Seriously these
people are dangerous and do everything to guess which country you are
from and to talk you into their shops.

I am going to try and find a t-shirt with written:
- Check out. They might think i come out of Czech republic
- Pita lee. They might think i am Italian from Pitalia or Pizzaly
- Friends, I come from France and I speak Friendchs
- Turn on the Switch, maybe I am Swiss, from Switcherland
- I could ofcourse have a t-shirt with 'korea' and maybe still they
will think I come from Korea? Especially when I walk too obviouse with
my photo or video camera. They would ask me if I am from north or
south Korea.

Anyway, I will try and keep ignoring them, and prepare myself further
for Turkey...apparently there it is the worst and even asking blond
girls to get married. So I consider Morocco and Tunisia as a
friendly-game before the world-cup verbal judo really starts.

Good luck in your game with the touts!
Frederik from Spinachland.

Photo: Loboc, Philippines - 30/09/10